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The names in these case
studies have been changed to protect anonymity.
1. At twelve years old, this young girl is
separated from her family and lives in foster care with a number of
children, some of whom are also fostered. The referral was made
because she had very low self esteem. Through the very nature of the
foster placement in which she found herself, it was very difficult
for her to secure individual attention. Her cultural experience
outside her immediate environment was extremely limited and one of
her main devices for securing attention was to use an exaggerated
lying process.
Seven months into the friendship the lying has been addressed and
stopped. The older friend has helped the development of self esteem
to the point where the girl is thinking of trying to progress to
further/higher education. The wider cultural experience has been a
revelation to the youngster, giving her ideas and aspirations for
the future and the older friend is now helping with the very
simplest of “social graces” that the child missed in her early
upbringing.
2. A young teenage girl is in a difficult
situation as her mother suffers from severe depression, and the
father’s contact is sparse and irregular. Our Older Friend takes an
interest in the girl, and listens to her so she is able to talk out
her problems. The Older Friend has been able to take her out of her
environment on a regular basis and presents an alternative adult
role model.
3. A 6-year-old boy from a ‘traveller’ family has a brother who is
severely disabled. The Father is in prison and most of the mother’s
time is spent looking after the disabled brother. The 6 yr old is
isolated (and so to an extent is the Mother). Our Older Friend
reduces this isolation and in taking an interest in the child has
raised his confidence and has broadens his outlook.
4. Our Older Friend has been involved with
these 2 sisters for 6 years. At the start the mother had MS, and the
father had left. After 4 years the mother died and our Older Friend
helped with the bereavement. The sisters went to live with the
grandparents who found they could not handle the situation. The
children were moved to separate foster parents. Our Older Friend has
supported them through all these life changes to good effect.
5. Two sisters aged 6 yrs and 7 yrs. The
parents have problems with drugs, which has led to prison sentences.
The Council has placed these young girls with Foster Parents and it
is hoped they will shortly be adopted, though probably not by the
current foster carers. Unfortunately the wider family does not
exist. Our Older Friends in this case is a Husband and Wife team. In
taking the children out they have been able to show interest,
broaden the children’s outlook and make sure they enjoy themselves,
and will be able to ‘bridge’ across to the new parents.
6. This young boy, from an ethnic minority group, suffered from
bullying and did not get support from his parents, as the mother had
mental health problem and the father was inadequate. After having an
Older Friend for about 18 months the situation had improved to the
point the Friendship was not needed. However some 6 months later he
has been referred to us again and our work continues.
7. A 15-year-old girl is the eldest of a very
large family. The mother’s health is poor and the father is not
around. The girl has taken over a lot of the responsibilities in
looking after the younger children. Our Older Friend can give her a
break from the chores, show someone is interested in her, broaden
her outlook, and ensure she enjoys herself for a little while each
week.
8. This young boy has learning difficulties,
possibly autism. His mother is emotionally detached and he is on a
register for physical neglect. We are currently searching for an
Older Friend to match to him. The proposed Friendship would broaden
the child’s outlook, make him feel someone was interested in him,
and give his brother and mother some respite from his difficult
behaviour.
9. A young teenage boy is suffering from extreme health problems and
uses a wheelchair. His pain is so severe that he cannot attend
school and has a tutor coming in. Understandably he has great
difficulty mixing with his peers and has become socially isolated.
The help of our Older Friend goes a little way to reduce this
isolation, just by visiting and talking to him. The possibility of
short car journeys, so he has outings, is now being proposed.
10. An 8 year old has a younger brother who is
severely disabled. Father is in prison and most of the time is spent
looking after the 2 year old. The 8 year old is isolated. Our older
friend has reduced this isolation by weekly visits and has taught
him to swim and taken him to places of interest. She has built a
trusting relationship with him and both enjoy the outings. The
youngster is now more settled at school and better able to get on
with his peers.
11. Helen has befriended Dean, a 10 year old
boy who lives in Canley, Coventry. His mother died of cancer and her
partner walked out leaving three children to be brought up by Nan.
Dean became very difficult at school and unable to make eye contact
with teacher and other adults. By the onset of the friendship Dean
had moved to a new school. Helen took dean to the climbing wall in
the sports centre at the University. Both friends enjoyed the visits
and Dean rose to the physical challenge which helped to build up
trust between the two of them. Slowly Dean opened up to Helen and
started to talk about himself and his difficulties during the past
year or so.
We desperately
need volunteers to help children like the examples above. If you
feel you could spare just 2 hours per week you could really make a
difference in a child’s life.
If after reading the
various pages on this web site you would like to become an Older Friend
click here. |
